A year on ..

Hi guys , I haven't done a life update for you guys in a while so here goes 

I have 2 weeks left of my first year as a theology and youth ministry student and I have learned so much. Not just about god or youth ministry , but about myself 

1) I can do academics .. 

It's not easy and as you guys have seen there have been some bumps along the way. But I've survived. And for the most part , I'm keeping up with everyone. My scores have been on a steady improvement since September and I'm starting to feel comfortable writing degree level essays .. Dyslexia and turners syndrome be damned !  

2) I do not struggle socially half as much as I used to..

I used to think I would always be a bit of a social outcast ... Not true , the friends I have made since September have easily been the easiest friendships I have ever made. 

3)I'm learning just how much I don't know....

I thought I was fairly theologically sound before I started saint mellitus. By the middle of November I was realising if I wasn't leaving a lecture with more questions than awnsers I haven't understood it, theology is , at it's very core , a striving to understand more of gods heart and how he works .. So by it's very nature there are going to be very few if any strait forward awnsers ...and I think that's what I love most about it. You can't just say "o I know the awnser to that"

4) I have no right to limit myself .. Nor dose anyone else for that matter

If I hade a quid for every time I had hured "I'm not sure you can get a degree" from a so called professional I wouldn't need student finance that's for sure. But here's the thing at point I found myself buying it. How about no , you sit there , shut up and watch me get this essay. Because you mr doctor are forgetting a few very important things 

1)I serve a very mighty God 

2) he has called me to do this , and

3)that's selfsame God made me stubborn as all heck ! 

So here is to the next two years of my degree

C ya soon

Love

Lauren

Xxx

a letter to a new born christian

so this blog post is going to be a little different. seeing as my post "a letter to my 13 year old self " went crazy. this is a letter to someone who is in there first day of being a christian

hi !

so , you just became a christian , awesome ! welcome to the family. now when i became a christian i did not have a clue what that meant with regards to what my life was going to look like from that point on. don't get me wrong i had such amazing support but there are a few things that i know almost 5 years down the line that i wish i had been told in advance. so i am writing this blog post with the hope that i will give you a few pointers.

1, not everyone is going to get it when you "come out" as christian 

there will be some amazing responses to your news. a few members of the church i go to even cried when i told them because they had been praying so hard for me. but there will be a few people outside the church that will simply think your clinically insane, how you react to that will most probably be your first ever ministry opportunity as a christian , kid. you got this. love them anyway.

2, the hardships in your life will not necessarily vanish 

please , please , please don't buy into the lie that so many new Christians do , that as soon as you get up from praying your salvation prayer your going to live in a magical land of puppy-dogs and rainbows .. trust me , you wont. the world will seam different. some things will just change instantly but more often than not you will have to work through your past hurts and struggles with god , its an ongoing process. and even the most longstanding Christians are still growing  

3, there will be days where you doubt

this is something i think all Christians go through. even the ones that have had huge miraculous healing and salvation have days where they wonder whether they just made the whole thing up. my advice for those days is this.... these are the days when your faith means the most to god. where you bless the heart of god just by carrying on.secondly, find someone you trust , and get them to pray for you , be honest. it will help.(side note this is part of your youth pastor / vickers job if they are not willing to help you .. tell them to read there bible / job description again)    

4, God wont say yes all the time. 

that dose not mean he has up and gone it just means that he happens to know what you need , what you want and the difference between those two things. trust me when i say this , he knows what he is doing and its way more spectacular than you can ever comprehend. as you grow as a christian you will start to notice how subtle god can be at times. you often wont notice where gods hand is in a situation until after the event.

5,you have a new family 

this is one thing new Christians tend to forget. the. dysfunctional bunch of rag tag people sitting in your church learning about god just like you are ... are now your family, even the old lady on the second pew from the left that scares you a little bit. like all good family , you wont always agree , you wont always want to hare what they have to say. but they will be on this journey with you.

good luck !

love , your new sister in Christ
Lauren