Well this is going to be a hard one to write ..
So in the past few weeks I have had real highs and lows.
My fellow st mellitus youth min students and I had a study week. Which was full of great times , nurf gun wars included.
I celebrated my birthday recently and have never felt so blessed by my friends , they are all truly awesome
However , I woke up on Saturday April 5th to some of the most devastating news I will ever have to get. One of my friends who I grew up with passed away. She was one the sweetest people I will ever have the pleasure of meeting. And she will be truly missed
Three days later , I got another phone call . This time I found out that another one of my friends , assaya , had passed away
i am sure that we have all been effected by the loss of a loved one at some point in our lifes, and the truth is , it can be one of the hardest things to go through as a person. And for those of you who are Christians. It can have a serious affect on our relationship with god
Now , I wanted to blog about this , really for two reasons , the first reason is . Some people think that having a relationship with god automaticly means that you live "happily ever after" and live in this fluffy Little bubble of rainbows and gumdrops .... That could not be further from the truth. And I wanted to show said people what it looks like to be a Christian in these times
So , what Does it look like lauren ?, quite honestly it looks like a bunch or hard questions... That I've asked god ... That I've asked myself ... That I have been asked from my friends
It looks like a lot of angry prayers .. Taking tim Hughs happy day off of my I -pod playlist because I just didn't want to here it .. And it looks like one of my most honest and raw times in my almost 5 year long relationship with god.
But most of all it looks like coming to the realisation that as a Christian it's times like this that you most need the other Christians in your life to step up to the mark and remind you just who is incharge of the whole situation , to support you as a friend , and to stop you "falling off the spiritual wagon". I'm so thankfull for about 5 individuals in my church that took it upon themself to become the "great cloud of whiteness" Paul talks about in the bible and check up on me with Facebook messages and prayers. You have no idea how much the sentence "I'm praying for you" can mean when the person saying it truly means it.
The second reason I want to blog this is , one day , when I'm older I want to be able to look back on these blog posts and read how much I've grown , as a person and as a follower of Christ and I want this to be a true reflection of that .. And for it to be that it needs to include the good the bad and all the bits In between. Who knows , one day , my future children might like to see what I was like when I was younger. I think i would like them to see I was striving to follow god in every circumstance ... Even the very worst ones
(Yikes that was only supposed to be a pre-amble )
Getting to the point of this blog post , I think it's in the hardest times that your so vulnerable and honest with god that he actually takes the opportunity to teach us and refine us into the people he created us to be. I think that's why a staggering majority of wisdom literature (job , Ecclesiastes ect)
is written by people are going through such trials and suffering.
Honestly , god never once promises us an easy ride in life. In fact he says that persecution is pretty much a forgone conclusion and that we will suffer in his name .. Like I said , a far cry from happily ever after .. But he dose also promise that he will be there with us .
My conclusion is this , it's our job to be honest and open with god , put our best foot forward , dance in the rain . Make people wonder how and why we have that strength .... And sit back and watch god do amazing things with an awful situation
This blog post is in loving memory of
Katie Haymes. And Asaya barrow-Urquiza