when 3000 words looks like Everest

sooooo being a degree student is complexly amazing 

and sucks at the same time 

i have now had 2 3000 word essays to complete

spoiler alert ... i survived , just

the first essay wasn't to bad . i had a bit of a rough time with organizing my thoughts but hay that's to be totally expected from a dyslexic with turners syndrome right.

anyways , to cut a long story short. 

i handed the first one in on time . amazed at how i had handled it ...

then i got the feedback and i quote this to you now 

"your spelling and grammar where so poor this did not feel like an academic essay"

excuse me ! i had it checked 3 times by someone who can spell perfectly well. so i have no idea how that comment is even possible , anyway , i digress.

although i was amazingly happy that i passed . that comment hit me , and hard 

so when i came to writing my second essay all i could here was that comment.

and some of you will be able to relate to this. i got that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach like it was all useless and hay i am going to fail anyway so why am i even trying.

newsflash people. you cant fail if you don't stop trying...

so after about 3 weeks of getting little bits of this essay done i had reached the grand total of 1236 words. (that's less than half way) 

i felt like an explorer. ide gotten half way up the mountain. but the summit just seamed well ... unattainable

and just when i felt defeated the devil did his favorite thing .... kicked me while i was down.

a friend of mine started to write her essay. 3 weeks after i had , and caught up with me inn the space of 4 hours 

i was devastated. i know that sounds a strange thing to say " i was devastated my friend was owning her essay"

being held back by learning difficulty's sucks

being held back by turners syndrome sucks ... 

but then it hit me 

the fact she had caught me up did not take away from the fact i had got that far also 

i was on track and i finished on time 

the thing about having ts and dyslexia is. it can only hold you back if you let it

if you work as hard as you work smart ...

you can climb Everest , or in my case .... kick the crap out of a 3000 word essay 

because guess what ...its done ,  not only is it done 

its not due until the 27th ...   

like i said. it cant hold you back unless you let it. 

and i for one am not about to let it .... and i come armed with a mickey mouse notepad 

 

as someone i love very much put it ... " giving an academic f you to the drs was never going to be easy loz , go do it anyway"

but that's only half the point. yes i would love to prove them wrong but

 one of my favorite you tubers reminded me in a tweet earlier today "don't do things to prove others wrong. do things to prove yourself right"

proving myself right is going to be so much more satisfying 

so guys , i know a lot of you who read this have ts. don't ever let it get in your way. ever.

and watch how quickly you turn peoples heads when you live a life way cooler than you ever imaged or had been told possible

if i listened to drs. i wouldn't be walking or talking or having any quality of life .... if i was here at all

so go conquer your Everest ... maybe even the literal Everest

your legs might hurt on the way up ,but i promise you

the view from the top 

is spectacular 

toddles

Lauren 

xxx