role models

ok so can i shoot strait with you guys for a minuet

i wanna talk about role models. famous people and non famous.

everyone and i mean EVERYONE has an influence on people.

and that means that we all have a responsibility to be a good one. especially if your in the public eye

yer i am talking to you Miley Cyrus ....

 you went from the girl in Hannah Montana

to what the heck are you wherein in 0.3 seconds ..

    

now im not gonna turn this into an anti Cyrus post. in fancy i think shes incredibly talented and absolutely beautiful.

its just sad to see what Hollywood syndrome has done to her.

i think as someone who will inevitably have young girls looking up to her she has a responsibility to show them that dressing provocatively (or not dressing at all as the case may be) and flopping about on a video is not the way they should be living. she is in such a prime position to show girls (and boys for that matter) how to act with dignity and not flaunt themselves

this is a subject i get so passionate about. i am very conches about the way i dress and how much flesh i show. not just for me but for the girls i work with. i want them to see the respect they should have fro themselves reflected in my life. 

integrity is a huge part of youth work and i believe with this generation being so connected online and a lot of your life being more public than ever before. young people can spot if your not being genuine a mile off.

so i ask you even if your not in ministry or not famous. what kind of role model are you being to the people around you 

lots of love

 Lauren

xxx

    

The I word

today i am going to touch on quite a risky subject

infertility

i have wanted to write about this in certain other posts but felt it deserved a whole post to itself.so here goes

i am infertile just like all other ts sufferers and it is one of the biggest things, emotionally speaking, that we have to face

now i am not known for playing it safe or pulling punches on this blog ... and i don't intend to start now 

being infertile has never upset me in the slightest, i know that's controversial and i completely  understand why it devastates some women. 

here is the deal , i have known that i cant have my own kid since i was old enough to have had "the talk" 

and i think that has a big part to play in why i am so comfortable with it

there was never a time where i could imagine myself falling pregnant. i feel for the women with ts who grew up thinking they would one day have children  only for a dr to tell them they can't

by this point in my blog post your probably think i am just a teenager going through an "ewwww kids are gross" faze. let me tell ya something , i am not, in fact i am like the complete opposite. i am the definition of maternal

  

i walk into my church and its like the flipping pide piper of hamilin or some crap 

BUT ...

my definition of a mother is quite possibly wildly different to yours. and has

 NAFF ALL TO DO WITH DNA

you want a list of people who have been a "mother" in my life , its huge. i may not have called them mum but they have supported me and guided me since i was little ... there is no genetic code for love. these people have never had any obligation to me what so ever 

and now i even get to call someone mom ..

so yes im infertile , but will i be a mum in the future DAYM STRAIT 

more fall anyone who says any different 

wow this became more of a rant than i anticipated. but to summarize.

 i am infertile. and i don't give a crap, because i am going to adopt a kid that needs a family. and its gonna be awesome. people who are infertile are sometimes made to feel like less of a woman/man and that if you will pardon my french is BALL*ecpleative* last time i checked knocking some women you met at a club up doesn't make you a real man it makes you a doush. and having a working uterus and getting pregnant every five minuets when you cant look after the kids you have just makes you down right irresponsible the sign of a real women/man is raising that kid with morals and values and a good outlook on the world ...

now i may not give a flying fudge cake about being infertile but lots of people do , and that's OK so my advice to you girls that are struggling ....

. you are worth so much more than your ability to kids

. if your helping guide young people in any way shape or form, you are mother figure weather you believe it or not 

.talk to your spouce about it. don't keep it bottled up , this has broken far to many relationships up so , COMMUNICATE

.get professional help if you need to, there is no shame in talking something over with a therapist 

.you can be a mother even if it isent biologically yours 

ok so thats my advice ...

ima leave you with a quote frow the queen of all that is awsome tv 

Meredith grey 

"Biology, it's crap. Utter crap. DNA, RNA. It doesn't make someone your family."

lots of love 

Lauren 

xxx

  

  

  

meet Aislinn

you guys are going to be seeing a lot more of this little girl , shes called aislinn (pronounced ash-ling) 

i am her "Christmas worrier"

this means that i am going to be blogging about her and trying to raise money to help her find her family. 

according to her reece's rainbow profile ( http://reecesrainbow.org/61394/aislinn) she has Down syndrome, Severe mental delays, Congenital malformation of heart, unspecified; Kyphosis and lordosis (curved spine); malnutrition

i just cant get over how adorable she is. so the fundraising starts now if you could possibly donate whatever you can to her adoption i would be so grateful and i am sure she would be to. 

but more importantly please pray for her. there is a couple out there somewhere waiting to be her mum and dad. and they probably don't know she exists yet. so pray that they find her soon.

lots of love

Lauren (and aislinn)

xxx  

sitting in a spiritual powerhouse

today was a unexpectedly huge day in moving forward with my fellow st melishans (we sound like aliens, lol!) 

this afternoon we had formation group (basically a meeting with our tutor and our Chaplin) and we had to bring a timeline of our life and put on it key events in our life specifically parts of it where god has moved or helped up.

i am gonna confess right now i was worried about giving my life story over ... turns out i totally shouldn't have been

for some reason our tutor picked me to share first which didn't help but as i told my story i totally felt comfortable about these people knowing so much about me because i honestly feel like i have known them forever

so the next person starts talking and i realize i not the only one that has had a shaky childhood and troubles in my past.All of the people who shares there story's had something valuable and inspiring to bring to the group.

i began to notice a recurring theme of  redemption and just all round changed lives. and you only have to look at any one of us to see that our pasts do not define us.

today , in that room, i felt like i was sitting in a spiritual powerhouse

and ya know what. only God could have had the imagination to put such a diverse and amazing group of people together

i still can quite get over the fact that this is how my degree is going to be

i am feeling completely blessed beyond measure right now

lots of love
Lauren
xxx

  

if you want to make god laugh, make a plan

have you ever sat and made a 5 year plan? 

or maybe even a 10 year plan

its one of the most commonly asked questions in interviews "where do you see yourself in 5 years time"

and until this time last year i had my answer down pat.i would have said "in 5 years would like to be starting my first nursing job having just graduated from my nursing degree" 

but its true what they say "if you want to make god laugh, make a plan"

god had other ideas. and i fail my entrants exam to the uni of my dream by 1 point.and i was devastated

whilst i was praying over my options to resit a year or take a gap year i felt god call me to the gap year my church was starting called "invest"

it wasn't the kind of gap year i was looking for at all.. in fact i had never felt called to full time ministry in my entire christian life.

so like a good christian i told god who wrong he had it for a full 2 weeks before i finally caved and halfheartedly signed up.

within a month of the year starting i fell in love with the work i was doing and the youth i was doing it for and throughout the course of the year i felt more and more of a call on my life to go into youth work 

now my specific calling is to the orphans of eastern Europe particularly Bulgaria.

as i was looking in to what i could do to help i realized that just going on a 2 week mission at some point in my life wasn't going to satisfy there need for love or my need to help them.but i still didn't see the link between my love for serving the youth around be in Britain and the orphans in Bulgaria

but god did 

now as i was saying by the time i needed to start looking at what i was going to be doing  September this year i had a passion for full time ministry

the other intern at my church had been doing the gap year as part of a degree course at st mellitus collage

it sounded like exactly what i needed. so i applied , and i got in

so , i when to momentum this year quietly confident that i was headed in the right direction even though i couldn't see a darn thing past getting my degree.kind if like driving down a country lane at night. scary !

    on day 3 at the morning meeting there was a call for people who have a burden to be an intercessory in a paticuler problem or need in the world

i got prayer. and then i finally got what i was doing. 

i got my phone out and looked for a web sight i had stumbled across some time ago when looking at some articles about the Bulgarian/Russian orphan crisis

   http://reecesrainbow.org/

rece's rainbow is an adoption ministry that focuses specifically on the eastern Europeans and Chinese orphans with downs syndrome or other conditions as these are the kids least likely to escape going to the mental institution if there not adopted

and then i realized if i wanted to work with these orphans full time , i needed a youth ministry degree. 

god knew my true heart before i even did and it may have been hard to see my nursing fall by the way side but i want to live the best life i can and god knew what that looks like 

as if to top it of rr only works out of america and Canada which means i will have to move stateside .. which is yet another one of my dreams , god is forfllling me more than i ever thought possible

so whats my 10 year plan ? 

i have no idea ask god 

lots of love 

Lauren

xxx   

          

out with the old , in with the new

if you follow my blog you will know that i have started university. 

i feel as though i am starting a new chapter in my life and have felt the need to have a "friend" clear out on my Facebook. of all of the people in my life that have either dragged me down or caused me to believe that i am anything less than god has called me to be. 

so this morning i prayed and then logged on to my Facebook friends list.

as i was deleted each person i prayed for them and forgave them for whatever they had said or done to me

it was a very freeing experience 

the thing about moving forward in life is that you sometimes have to let go of the baggage of the past.

its not always as easy as it sounds, but its rewarding     

lots of love

a much lighter felling

Lauren

xxx

because i suck at updating this blog ...

i am not going to give you a blog post about momentum like i planned. i am going to give you a little bullet point catch up post, and hopefully normal service will be resumed from here on in 

September sneaked up on me, and i am now a full on official uni student.

i have spent most of this week at uni on a study week, and have made some truly incredible friends who i feel are going to make this uni thing a whole lot easier and more fun.

Sophie is now 8 ... insane i know. (shes the bigger one in this photo)

and even though i now don't have time to dedicate a whole post to my momentum adventures. but i will say this. i had a fantastic time and i can not describe to you how humbling it is to see God moving in such amazing ways  in so many people 

sorry for the impromptu sabbatical but i promise to post again soon 

lots of love

Lauren 

xxx