so much to tell you !!!

Christmas has been a crazy busy time for me 

there have been Christmas productions ...

witch is basically a way for the adults to dress teenagers up in silly outfits and giggle (with a god point at the end of course :p)

youth carol service .....

which i was so busy leading im afraid i didn't get any photos. but other people did ,  you will see them when i do. it went well though, i survived which is always good and i feel like god made an impact in peoples lives so that always good 

a new addition ...

introducing our cute fluff ball that also doubles up as a Christmas tree shredder/re decorator missy the kitten

well i think that just about catches you up on all things Lauren..

so for now lexie says " merry trismas and a appy nooow ear" (that's merry Christmas and a happy new year in toddler)   

lots of love

 Lauren

xxx 

sometimes ....

you have to look back ..

to see how far you have come ..

in the words of Clifford the big red dog "love makes little things grow" 

lots of love 

Lauren

xx 

can you believe ...

i think i finally cracked it ..

for the first time in my life there is no drama  to deal with

1,no junkie mother to worry about

2, my health is relatively stable 

3, my friends love me , so no more being bullied 

just spent a few minuets praying when god put this fact on my heart. and now i feel like this 

   

lots of love

Lauren

xx

worth something

today the talk for my kids at church was about self worth , this was a tricky conversation to have. i saw how the children would be fine talking about how this affected there friend and talking about how they had seen there friends have eating disorders and self harm.

but then i started turning the conversation to them and how they view themselves  needless to say they all fell silent at this point. when the finely did speek i was shocked that at the age of 12 most of them felt that the weren't skinny enough, weren't tall enough. or that they where outcast. one of the girls even said to me she didn't think any boy would go near her and that she felt sorry for any guy that did. what is wrong with the world ....

THESE CHILDREN ARE WORTH SOMETHING

  so why are they exposed to pictures like this ..

and given this unreachable image of what beauty is. girls of course you don't have an hourglass figure yet , your 12 !!!!

as for the boys the men you see with the abs and huge muscles spend hours a day wight training and have no life outside of the gym

please don't build your life around them , build it around Christ because lets face it. David , the one that beat the giant Goliath.The bible says he was a runty little shepherd boy. And Esther may have spent a whole year with the royal beauty therapist but in the end what got her her prince charming was that she was a strong independent woman of god who was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside

so why am i on such a rant , because your worth more than i saw you believe you where today

lots of love 

Lauren

xxx

  

hello December, let the craziness begin

Christmas is always busy for people who work in a church and i have already had a huge amount to do this month, admittedly its not all been "work" but hear is a snapshot of the past weekend 

ts meet on saturday day time

  

and then on to "big church night in" with rend collective and Matt redman.this made for a lot of trains and a very long day 

and yesterday i got to spend the day filming. trust me its not as glamorous as it sounds. i was dressed as a minion 

lots of love
Lauren
xxx

Lauren's list of joy..

i figured the world needs more joy so in no particular order here are 10 things that make my world awesome .... 

1, Jesus / church / the people in my church

ever since i started going to church i have met some of the most caring and loving people of all time. Jesus died for me so i think he qualified for the list of joy , don't you ?

2, ts sisters 

you girls rock and i always walk away from seeing you guys feeling epic ! 

3, grey's anatomy / private practice 

because they are awesome and i can quote 90 % of any script for either show. the fact that pp is ending this season officially sucks 

4, chocolate / haribo 

there both yummy . enough said

5 harry potter 

whats not to love about being able to pretend your running round a huge castle playing with dragons and beating up bad wizards for your entire childhood

6 one tree hill

 

this is my total guilty pleasure. rainy Sunday afternoons in between church  an ko (evening church service) is spent watching re runs of this. such a shame this ended. but i have to say brooks one liners give mine a run for there money :D

7. smiling

 

in the words of the legendary buddie the elf "i just love to smile, smiling's my Favorite" 

8 , siblings 

                    

                       

in both the biological and non biological sense of the word 

9 ,  my internship

i don't think i could love what im doing with my life any more if i tried my job is the thing i love doing most and i don't think i could ask for more  

10, Christmas

films , family , food , fun ... fantastic (i overdid it with the letter f didn't i ?) i love Christmas everyone is happy. there is some kind of fizz in the air that you don't get any other time of year so it makes the list of joy. 

lots of love

Lauren

xxx

        

the hospital managed to scare me , this is a rare occurence

if you have been following my blog you will know that i suffer from something called turners syndrome .the health issues that come with that mean i spend around 3 hours a week (yes i averaged that out over the course of a year, because im sad and had time to go through last years diary) . and when i was in dialysis and ended up staying in alot it worked out around 12 hours a week.

even though i am used to hospitals i panicked yesterday when my Dr looked into my eyes pulled his "im concerned" face and called in no less than 3 consultants because he though he saw a reflex that would indicate i have the early signs of muscle wastage      

thank god Dr c turned out to be wrong i don't have muscle wastage i have a condition called hemispheric asymmetry which basically means one side of my scull is bigger than the other
 
lets face it if my muscles where wasting i wouldn't be able to do this

and anyone who knows me knows im not giving that up any time soon 

lots of love

 Lauren

xx

what about your mum ?

the title of this post is a question i get alot, especially from people that haven't seen me in a while. my response is always the same ....

"you probably know more than i do"
  

OK i haven't had a full conversation with my biological mother in almost 7 years, but im not without strong female influence. I have so many people in my life that show me what it is to stand tall (well as tall as a woman with ts can lol) and be proud of who i am. all of these woman give me something different and i wouldn't be half the woman i am today if it wasn't for each and every one of them.

thanks for helping me be fun loving like this

    

smile like this





and have friends like this



you amazing lady's know who you are
so what about my mum?
ide say there awesome , and i wouldn't have it any other way
lots of love
Lauren
xx

lest we forget

so as most of you will know , today is rememberence Sunday ,where we remember the sacrifice of our troops . 

im very lucky to have been able to go to France and see some of the battle fields, The Somme and Vimmy ridge in particular. this gives me a whole different perspective on just how devastating world war 1 was. it was a truly harrowing experience to see rows of people who died for my freedom way before even my parents where born. it truly ingrained in my heart just how true this quote is

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." - john 15:13 

      

i think the quote and picture sum up how i feel today but i will leave you with a poem that i find truly beautiful

In Flanders Fields In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.

lots of love 

lauren

xx

light fantastic.

im guessing your thinking something like "light... what " right about now.

NEVER FEAR

i will explain 

so light fantastic is a party we have for the children at church every year instead of Halloween  and its much more fun than knocking on random strangers doors anyway.

so i was a helper this year ,here are some pictures of our night (sorry if the pictures are poor quality , i had to take them on my phone.)

so may lights and cool things to look at , i must say i was even impressed by the amount of effort that went into this 

hay Louise  

the kids seamed to have an awesome time , so i think that's mission completed 

lots of love

Lauren

xx 

proudest "big sister" ever

im going to brag a bit in the post just fyi

in life , im genraly a "glass half full" kinda girl  

so i like to look at the things my missing x chromosome has made room for

one of the best things has to be the people i have met so here goes ,

Minnie mac 

   

i could not be prouder of this girl. when i first spoke to her on Skype  she dident talk much. now i get regular catch ups in the life of mac , from the girl herself (not forgetting renditions of whatever nursery rhymes she feels i should hear that day)

and its no wonder she is coming on leaps and bounds. her mum is one of the most awesome parents i will ever meet  

 i love you penny 

ok , so that's my bragging over. hope you enjoy it 

lots of love 

Lauren

xx

In loving memory

in the last couple of months i have lost 2 people that where very close to me , both to brain cancer. so i thought i would wake a post in there memory. also to ask that if you can could you donate to cancer resurch uk , or Macmillan who helped both of these peoples passing be as comfortable as possible 

so here goes 

in loving memory of

Mitchell Huth 

this is just a fraction of the pictures and tributes to him 

   

2005 -2012 <3

and 

Chris Stodart

 who sadly died at home with his family on Friday night x 

lots of love 

lauren

xx

Huston we have a mentor , o and a ministry

I have know for a few days now what i wanted to do with my gap year. and the way i wanted to take the ministry i have decided to work on , but its by no means set in stone yet. there is a lot of work to do before i can even think of getting off the ground. but i thought it was time for an announcement to you guys , so , drum roll please ......

pastoral care 

i feel god calling me to go and serve people as Jesus did , with love. what that looks like in terms of my ministry remains to be seen, but its coming together well   

in other news i had my first meeting with my new mentor this morning , shes lovely . and has just retired recently from being head of pastoral care at our church. so i know her knowledge and experience will be invaluable to me throughout this year and beyond   

there is a saying our youth pastor uses alot and i think ive taken it to heart because its becoming the center of my ministry without me even realizing . you can see it here written on my arms at last years soul survivor 

"extream love"

i don't think there should be any other kind 

lots of love 

Lauren

 xx

loud & clear and a check of faith

this weekend , 2 very awesome things happened

1 , loud and clear conference

this was a chance for me and some of my friends who are in the preaching team at church to go and hone are skills as communicators of the gospel (and see Sam bailey , but that's a whole other post. hehe ) . I traveled to Watford for the day ( this involved me getting up stupidly early) and had an awesome time. 

  

2, (this is the most awesome thing) the church was given a cheque for the sum of £1500 to pay for me and Joel to have new computers in the office 

now i know i spelt cheque wrong in the title , and the reason i did this is because it blew me away that this person felt led by got to invest in 2 teenagers starting a new ministry. someone decided to invest an incredible sum of money ON ME ! and it really kicked me into shape. in a smaller sense this is what Jesus did for me just like the person said "she may not be much now but what if i invest in her, what could she become" . she sees the potential in me. so did god but his cheque didn't say £1500. it said "my only son"      

this was huge food for thought for me 

so to the person who donated that money , i believe you have even started reading this blog 

thank you for investing in me , I hope I do you proud 

lots of love

Lauren

xx