Monday, 13 October 2014

Dear 30 year old me

So I've written a letter to my 13 year old self on this blog before. But I thought I would try it another way round. I'm going to write to my future self, kinda like a time capsule to look back on. 

Dear lolly , 

How it going in 2024 ?. So your 30 that makes Alf 21 Hoely crap you guys are adults !! 
How is your brother ? Did he ever figure out what he wanted to do ? I hope so I'm sure if he found somthing he loved he'd be awsome at it

Where are you living right now. England ? Canada? Or somwhere compleatly unexpected 

Please please please tell me you have at the very least been on mission to help orphans in Bulgaria ! Or did you even go as far as forfilling your dream of adopting one of them.

Speaking of kids. How many do you have ? Do you have any atall ? .. Actually family wise. Who did you marry? Are you married ? 

I have So many questions 30yo me about where you are and what your doing. But I also have some advice that at the moment you love and I don't what you to forget 

1) you are the most happy in your own skin you have been up until this point in time. If your unsure of yourself nowadays for any reason. Please remember that feeling you had aged 20 like you where on the edge of your adult life about to take on the world for jesus 

2) I beg of you don't have slipped away from God but if for whatever reason you have. Remember where you come from and how you got this far if that isn't a testament to christs love for you I don't know what is 

3) I'm sitting here 99% sure your surprised at how quickly your reading this blog post again. Please promise me you have tryed to make the most of the 10 years between writing this and reading it again 

Lots of love 
Lauren 

20yo - 13/10/2014
Xxx




It's not just the leaves that are changing around here

So the last few weeks have seen some pretty significant changes around here.

First and foremost the weather has become desidedly good for one of England's best know games. Dodge the downpour. Yes autumn is here and it has brought with it a butt load of rain. But we don't mind because for all Saint mellitus students that means that retreat weekend is just around the corner #exitment 

I also don't think I've blogged about the new addition to the family. He's called Leo. He's a 6 month old rescue kitten and he is the definition of a good snuggle buddy. Early winter mornings are going to be way harder to handle now that I have to desterb this little guy to 



O yheeeer there is one other thing .. I'm changing jobs !

Like how I threw you off the scent there ?

So you may have detected a hint of uneasiness about my work las time I posted about it. The truth is I have had a niggaling feeling I'm not where God wants me to be for a while now. It's not the people , it's certinly not the youth ..

It's a god thing

I tryed to block it out for ages but when I finnaly gave in and looked for a new job. My new placement fell into my lap

I will be shadowing the Chaplin at the evangalina children's hospital at guys and St Thomases hospital

I am so exited to start this new chapter in my life and can't wait to tell you guys about it

Lots of love
Lauren
Xxx

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

beyond privileged

so today i was challenged about something

the way i use my money , it genuinely matters to God . and not just a little bit. a whole lot 

in the bible .when the rich young ruler came to jesus and asked what he had to do  to make sure he was doing what God had asked him jesus replys 

"it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the gates of heaven"

so basicly there is not enough room for both you and your moneybags to get to heaven. 

God calls his disciples time and again in the bible to give all their possessions to those who needed it most. and that comment still stands for us today

i may not have had the best or most financially stable childhood but in my teenage years i have been extremely upwardly mobile. i now find myself comfortably in the middle class 

i go to a top west london theological college. i live in a three bedroom semi detached house with plenty of space that of course is filled with gadgets that i love. i reguly get to visit canada  and all sorts of other stuff that are apsoloutly not nessasery but are things I love having 

all this means that i am officially in the top 5% of wealth in the world.and if you have a roof over you head, food to eat and running water in a first world country so are you

what i was challenged about is how much is all of this material possession takes the throne in our heart as the thing we hold on closest to us. Thise of us that are Christians are called to not hold on to our money and to see all of our material possessions as gifts from god to be uesed to futher his kingdom

It's just somthing to consider next time I mone about student finance being a bunch of flipping jobsworths (which they are btw #notbitter) or not havering the latest iPhone

Lots of love
Lauren
Xxx









          

Saturday, 6 September 2014

why *nurotypical* is way overrated

    i wont bore you with the the list of medical conditions ive been labeled with but lets just say its alot

for someone who has to watch their eight year old sister overtake them physically and outstrip them mentally on a regular basis is very easy to look at her and get upset or jealous 

and on occasion , i have ... i know its ridiculous , she's eight 

but , guess what. being normal or "neurotypical" as the doctors like to call it 

ITS WAY OVERRATED

and here is why.  
i get to learn valuable lessons about what it means to succeed after almost everyone has said you can't.

 she will never know the satisfaction of getting an email that starts 
"wow , that essay was amazing" after 12 years of working flat out just to scrape a pass

having the sheare joy of looking a dr/teacher in the eye and saying i did it anyway .. have a massive slice of humble pie my friend 

so when you look at it like that i'm not sure i want to be jealous actually, being neurotypical sounds kind of boring 

ps... I love her to pieces
 

lots of love 
lauren 
xxx   

Friday, 29 August 2014

somewhere between a complete mess and complete healing

as it stands today i am three months shy of having been a christian for five years ..

that's just crazy to me.

maby i will talk about this more on the date and have a celebration post on here but the fact that this time five years ago i had stepped into a church once and i only just made it made it through the service without walking out or screaming that it was all so ridiculous astounds me and i will always be grateful for that 

but i still have a long way to go .. don't we all

i still find myself on this learning curve where i have to figure out what god wants for my life.

as you know i have a huge heart for orphans. all orphans but specifically those in UK and eastern Europe 

and irs not hard to see why its orphans gods broken my heart for .. ive been there i know what its like to wonder if anyone even gives a dam 

but after all of the truly awesome god was doing with me at momentum and ss this year ive been thinking

do i even know enough to help these kids 

God and i have been working on this and as usual hes been showing me why im not the one in the driving seat anymore 

i realized noone living is fully who god wants them to be because we are human

and its myy  job to stand there somewhere between a complete mess and complete healing and bridge that gap the best i can

lots of love
lauren
xx






Thursday, 28 August 2014

happy and home (an overview of the craziest summer yet)

so guys. i know i have been a horrible blogger recently and haven't been posting , i am sorry. i am going to make it up to you with a super long post now so here you go.

guess who damaged the ligaments in her foot just before going to Canada... this chick. so here is a picture of my and Laura amusing our self whilst 2.5 hours into waiting in a&e 


its almost fully back to normal now thankfully but i was on crutches for some of my holiday

anyway that didn't stop me having a good time and here are some shots from the 3 weeks i spent on the other side of the Atlantic





a quick hop back over the Atlantic and (i kid you not , jet lag be damned) less than 24 hours after leaving Calgary i was in somerset. slight difference in the climate i have to say  !


soul survivor b was such a chance to see the difference in my leadership a year of theological and youth ministry training had made.

honestly i love my job i couldent think of a job i could ever love more but this year has really been full of apathy. not towards my youth but towards ministry in general. like ide kind of become intrenched and unable to bring myself to move forward with anything

but if anything is ever going to give you motivation its seeing this lovely lot



and i think that was the biggest thing (other than sleep deprivation) i got from ssb2014

if i want to serve these guys and execute gods heart for them .. i actually have to get on and do something about it 

OK a couple of days to wash and repack all my stuff and we head back up to somerset for momentum.

this years theme for momentum was the empowered life which of course is just like God considering what ide derided needed to happen whilst i was at ssb..

Jesus was just moving and doing his thing the whole time. and as much as i am exhausted i am so glad that i got to be refreshed in a way no amount of sleep will.

here are some pictures

 










  



regular blogging will resume as of now, as always ,

lots of love
lauren
xxx

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Sometimes you have got to stop talking

I resently have been working on spending some time listening to the Hoely spirit. It's not been easy as   I have said countless times on this blog I am an Extream extrovert which means forcing myself into prossesing internally has been difficult 

Until I realised that you don't have to prosses internally to have quite time , jernaling , blogging and reading the bible are some ways of doing this in an extrovert manner 

The thing it quite time with god isent a solo affaire you are in communication , your communicating with god .. Who is the best listener ever by the way

But he dose also want to talk to you and some times the only way to let that happen is to stop and listen 

Lots of love 
lauren 
Xxx