Friday, 15 January 2016

This . Just . Got . REAL

For those of you that don't know , I'm in bible collage. But not for much longer. As of today I'm about   4 months shy of graduating the most amazing university I could have ever wound up at. ST MELLITUS.

I've gotten to know some of the nicest and most genuine people I will ever have the privilege of meeting and have actuly learned a little bit of theology (a nice bonus )

But as I start thinking about life post smc it's starting to dawn on me that one day in the not to distant future I will have a massive massive life change to adapt to.

I'm most probebly going to be living in a different house 
Quite possibly in a different country 

Job applications and deadlines are the main things in my life right now and is scary , really scary. But more than that it's exiting and I'm never gonna have this much freedom again. 

Lots of love 

Tuesday, 1 December 2015

living up to my name , i hope (blogmas day 2)

Lauren Ashleigh Malone  

it means "she has been crowned victorious through Christ"

i hope and pray that i become someone who lives up to my name.

i want to be someone who walks through life knowing they have the victory , that the battle is won 

and its not through anything i did. but through the god who loves me beyond measure. that my very name means i was marked as his child way before i even acknowledged God's existence in my life   

what does your name mean , tell me in the comments

lots of love 

blogmas , more of a candy cane than an olive branch

guys , guys , guys ! 
i am so sorry i have sucked as a blogger recently but i have a candy cane (olive branch) for you 


get hyped people !

i am going to blog every day in December

i am going to be doing lots of awesome things so i think you guys will enjoy following me around throughout this month 

i posted the first one just before this 

you guys if your reading this after however long it has been since i posted i love you like my cat likes stealing all the space on my bed  (a whole dam lot)

lots of love 

six years (and a bit) ago

on the 16th of November 2009 i became a christian 

it was one of the most unexpected and amazing days of my life and alot has changed since that day. 

i am now happier than i have ever been. 

during the coarse of this year i will be graduating st mellitus and leaving my home church to work with young people somewhere else. i don't know where that is or what that looks like yet , and that's terrifying for me. 

the idea of leaving the only church i have ever known and going to live away from of the home i have lived in on and off since the age of 13  is scary and it makes me feel way to much like i have grown up and become an adult (when did that happen , and how the heck do i make it stop) 

but what i love about being able to look back at the last six years is that i have been allowed to make my mistakes , and learn from them. with a whole bunch of people behind me telling me i have the ability to get back up 

this year feels like the first year that safety net id being taken away from me. but thats not true 

i just get to show them now that their investment was worth the while 

lots of love 

Friday, 17 July 2015

I CANT .. Yet

I can't 

It's something I see and here far to often.
From people in almost every aspect of my life 
But particularly the ts community 

I just want to look the girls that say that in the forum  dead in the eyes and say 


What your looking for is "I can" or "i can't yet" 

I don't say this to make anyone feel bad or like they are not allowed to struggle with something. Because you are 

But here is the thing.

You can only fail at something if you stop trying 

Yes you can get that job
Yes you can cope with that family situation
Yes you can overcome that medical complication 

Because if I can by some mirical be 2/3 of the way through a degree. You can do whatever it is you want to do to

Stop saying you can't. It's belittling yourself 

Lots of love 

Thursday, 9 July 2015

little alabaster jar of potential

one of my favorite verses in the bible comes from Corinthians

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7. 

i have always loved this verse because it just reminds me how much we have to rely on god. we are literally vestals for his spirit and not even good ones. we are fragile unassuming and cracked. we come with "stuff" already inside of us taking up room inside us that god has to work around 

we are basically the human equivalent to this 

Image result for clay jar  

but god still uses us.  

i once listened to a sermon on this bible passage and the preacher explained that in the day that this was being said it would have resonated with the audience on a much more logical level that it dose for us nowadays because in big houses people uesed to hide there tresure and most valued possetions in old cracked clay jars as a means of securaty because thieves would not think to look in them for anything of value.

i think that was one of the most valuable comparisons that could possibly have been made. some of the weakest and most vulnerable people  to the world become some of the most powerful people for the kingdom 

i guess what im trying to get at here is that when we take our broken selfs and surender them to god he mends us beyond all recognission and ueses us just as much as we will allow him to.

when the Japaneses mend a vase they repair it with gold. not only dose the gold increase the value of the vase but the fact there will never be another vase to breake the same way that makes thease vases almost invaluble 

and i for one think they look awesome

So , you little alabaster jar of holey potential. Don't ever think that those cracks that you see In Yourself look like anything but beauty to God

Lots of love

Sunday, 7 June 2015

a little inspiration from rarjad Kipling

If , 

If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, 
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, 
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
    And never breathe a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
    If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Sorry I've not been blogging. Have a little inspiration to tide you over till I can find the time to catch you up